Black and Blue
by Seastone Chair
Summary: John paused from his frantic typing and leaned back to stare blankly at the laptop screen. His blog was pulled up and this post was in its drafts. "He took me by storm, this love of his." I'm sure this has been overdone but I just want to write cute and sometimes sad and sometimes amazing things here in John's computer. The things he doesn't post on his blog.
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_A/N: Ok so I'm sure this has been done like a million times now but I just want to write dabbles here. Sometimes cute. Sometimes sad. Always from John's POV since it IS his blog. Thank you for reading!_

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June 20th

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He took me by storm, this love of his. First time I saw him he amazed me, he stunned me. He was astounding and he couldn't even see it himself. He was so insecure with himself, but he buried it deep. He locked it away so no one would know. But I knew. I could see it, I could _feel _it from the first moment. And then he let me in. So far past what others were allowed to see. Only me. I was in his flat, I was in his space, I was in his head. And he was in mine. I gave up everything for him. My romantic interests hated me, they hated our relationship. I didn't care. I didn't even know what I was doing with them. I only wanted him and I can only guess he wanted me.

There was this time when we were in our flat and I was making tea, I always make tea its pretty much all I know how to make, and he was watching me. He usually never watches me because he's always too busy with his work. It seemed like I was more interesting now.

"What?" I asked, curious as to what I was doing that was so appealing to him.

"Your hands," was all he said. He could be frustrating like that sometimes. What about my hands? What was I doing with them that was different than usual? Did he like it? Did he hate it? Did he want me to stop? So many questions, but I kept my mouth shut. I just accepted what he said.

This time he felt like he needed to explain, though.

"The way they move…" He began, his voice deep. His voice was always deep, it was like a gentle reminder that he was a man, not a child that he acted like once in a while. "They're so graceful."

It was unexpected. Me? Graceful? This seemed like an experiment to me, some weird experiment. So I went along with it. Sometimes that's all you can do with him.

"Are they now?" I poured the tea over a strainer in the first cup.

"Yes. They know what they are doing. They are experts. They would never make a mistake even if you aren't thinking about it." I couldn't even understand where this was going.

"Oh," was all I said. I should have said more. I should always have said more to him.

"One day," he began. I noticed in my peripherals a nervous fidget from him. He's never nervous, so I looked at him. Those blue eyes caught mine. "One day I want to know how that feels."

And my heart stopped. And the world ceased to exist. Did he want to know… how that felt on him? Or did he want to be so experienced at something so trivial that he didn't have to think about it? What?

I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. His fidgeting got worse. I knew he was going to run from his insecurities. This was one of them; opening up to anyone. Even me.

"Sherlock," was all I could say before he fled. He stood from his chair and bounded from his experiment table and went into his room. The door slammed shut.

What did he mean?

I should have asked more questions. I should have looked at him more. I should have made a move. I should have loved him better.

John paused from his frantic typing and leaned back to stare blankly at the laptop screen. His blog was pulled up and this post was in its drafts.

CTRL+A

Delete.


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_A/N: OUT SO FAST! Well that's because I had a review and they pump me uup! So here's some adorable for the reviewer! Thank you so much and keep reviewing I LOVE them! _

_Enjoy!_

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June 21st

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There was this time once when I had a ridiculous amounts of jumpers. I mean, I love my jumpers. They're comfortable. But he hated them, and I admit now I had too many. Maybe a little obsessed with them?

I had this one that I had actually gotten for Christmas. It was a joke on an ugly sweater so I only wore it around the house. And oh it was so ugly. I even agree it was ugly. It was like that one was the last straw for him. Every time I wore it he got this look in his eye like he was planning something.

Something dark and dastardly.

He was always nicer when I wore it though, so that just made me wear it more. I realize now that his niceness was to divert me from his real feelings towards the jumper. It worked, but I think it backfired on him because I wore it a lot.

I wore it when I was sad after a break up with a girl. I wore it when I was fixing us breakfast in the mornings before I had to go out and start my day. I wore it when I made him watch movies and eat popcorn.

One day I was getting in the shower. I took off the ugly jumper and put it on the floor with the rest of my clothes. It wasn't unusual for Sherlock to barge in to ask questions or demand me to get out of the shower "this instant".

It was unusual, however, that he quietly walks in and quietly walks out. I can't see anything because of the shower curtain, I could only see the shape of his body. He bent down to pick something off the ground and left.

"What the hell, Sherlock?" I asked loudly but he was already gone. I finished my shower and stepped out and it was gone. My jumper was gone. The ugly jumper… he took it. My red pants and trousers were still there but the jumper. I wrapped a towel around my waist and went out.

"Sherlock!" I shouted so loud even Mrs. Hudson would have been able to hear it downstairs. He was nowhere in the flat. He left the flat. With the ugly jumper. "For fucks sake," I remember mumbling to myself and going upstairs to change into real clothes. Pants, trousers, and a button up shirt. He couldn't complain about that.

I made tea, sat in front of my computer like I am now, and looked around for a case to soothe his needs. And waited.

And waited.

It was nearly two hours later, I was on my third pot of tea, now looking at some rather explicit… images. He burst into the room and I exited out as fast as possible. Dear Lord he would have given me a heart attack.

I turned in my seat, ready to give him an earful when I was stopped in my tracks. The biggest, happiest grin was on his face.

I was taken aback because he only reserved that grin for special occasions. Like getting a new case or when he finished a piece of composition he was working on. But there it was directed at me.

"What-?" was all I could get out before he came up to me and swept me off my chair. He spun me in the air and then dropped me.

"It is done!" He threw his hands up, that grin on his face.

"What is done?" I asked, confused and jumper forgotten about.

"I burned it." That smile was still on his face.

"Burned… what?" Couldn't he elaborate once in a while?

"Oh John, please keep up. I burned the ugly jumper!" He did a spin himself and went into the kitchen to pour himself a cup of tea.

He burned… my jumper. He snuck into the bathroom while I had no choice but to stay in the shower, left the house, and burned my jumper.

I was silent for so long, just processing it. He finally heard my silence in the way that only he can.

"Oh John don't be angry, I did it for the good of society. Surely you would approve of it!" That smile faded a little bit.

That's when I just accepted it. If something like that could make him so happy, then who would I be to take it away from him.

"No, no. You're right. I do approve of it. Thank you," I said with a small smile back to him. His grin grew back to what it had been.

"Good!" He clapped his hands together. "Now how about a case…"

God he had me wrapped around his finger.

John buried his face in his hands as he stopped typing. It was so hard remembering. He just wanted to stop, but he couldn't.

CTRL+A

Delete

John got up from his computer and dragged himself to Sherlock's bedroom. It was empty. _So empty. _He crawled in Sherlock's bed and curled up. It smelled like him. It smelled like him. _It smelled like him._


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